Dec. 10, 2024 - Rekindling the Light in the Bleak Midwinter.

​As the year draws to a close, many of us face what can feel like the most challenging stretch of the calendar. For some, Christmas is a time of joy and celebration; for others, it amplifies feelings of loss or loneliness. For those who do not mark the festive season, winter's long, dark months can seem unrelenting. This is the bleak midwinter—when the light feels far away, and the world's weight seems heavier than usual.

This past year has been my annus horribilis. Profound loss, difficult choices, and moments of deep sorrow have marked it. I lost my father, my compass and greatest inspiration, and as his first-anniversary approaches, I feel the depth of the void he left behind. The year began with another blow—the loss of Wee Jock, the world's laziest and most endearing dog, who brought us endless laughter. On top of that, I had to make some life-changing decisions, necessary but painful, and I am still reckoning with the cost.

At one point, I dared to hope for light at the end of the tunnel, but it turned out to be an oncoming train.

Yet, despite the chaos, there have been successes and moments of deep gratitude. I finally completed the book I worked on for years, a long-cherished dream that brought immense satisfaction. This achievement would not have been possible without the support of good travelling companions who shared their wisdom, offered encouragement, and walked alongside me throughout the journey. Their presence made all the difference, and I will always hold deep gratitude for their contributions.

I was privileged to be part of a friend's launch of her lifelong retreat, grounded in Chinese culture. This was truly inspiring, as she is a woman of great vision, and witnessing her bring this dream to life reminded her of the incredible power of dedication and perseverance. I also celebrated new successes with friends who found their dream jobs and liberated themselves from the shackles imposed by others. Their achievements were a source of joy and inspiration, reminding me of the strength we all carry within to create better futures for ourselves.

I also transferred my teaching licence to Ireland, opening doors for the future. More importantly, I reconnected with friendships I feared were lost, discovering the enduring warmth of shared histories. Supporting those who asked for help, regardless of their need, has been another source of quiet fulfilment.

Perhaps most profoundly, I have rediscovered what lies at the core of my being—the dreams and desires that drive me and give my life meaning. Of course, the health and happiness of my children remain a constant source of joy and privilege. Watching their continued success fills my heart, even in the darkest times.

The Gift of Presence
In the depths of winter, the greatest gift we can offer is not something bought in a shop, wrapped in paper, or tied with a bow—it is the gift of ourselves. Our time, attention, and kindness can transform someone's day. Here are some ways to make a difference:

1. A Listening Ear.
   • Never underestimate the power of simply being present. For someone who is struggling, the opportunity to share their worries with a patient listener can mean everything. You do not need to have all the answers; listening is enough.
2. A Helping Hand.
   • Practical support can lift a tremendous weight. This might mean popping around to help an elderly neighbour with shopping, cooking an extra portion of dinner for an unwell friend, or offering a lift to someone without transport. Small gestures of practical kindness can make an outsized impact.
3. A Bit of Cheer.
   • Joy is a gift in itself. Organise a walk in the countryside, share a funny anecdote, or invite someone for tea and biscuits. A bit of company and a good laugh can be a tonic for the soul.
4. Support for Those in Need.
   • Financial pressures weigh heavily this time of year. If you can, consider donating to a local food bank, giving to a homelessness charity, or offering direct help to someone struggling to make ends meet. Even a little generosity can make a world of difference.
5. Space to Breathe.
   • Only some people find comfort in company. For some, the most extraordinary kindness is allowing them the space they need to rest, reflect, and process their emotions. Respect this, but remind them you are there if and when they need you.

Create Small Comforts
In challenging times, small rituals can provide solace and stability. Engage in activities that comfort you—a favourite book, a walk along the coastline, or listening to your favourite playlist. These simple acts can serve as anchors, grounding when life overwhelms. Whether it is losing yourself in the pages of a classic novel, taking in the crisp winter air on a quiet stroll, or letting a beloved song lift your spirits, these familiar moments can create pockets of peace and warmth amidst the bleakness of midwinter.

The Courage to Receive
Giving is easy to think of as virtuous, but receiving help also requires courage. If you are struggling this season, remember you are not a burden. Some people care about you and want to help.

Sometimes, stubbornness can be both a virtue and a vice. While determination and self-reliance are admirable qualities. Stubbornly refusing to accept or seek support can lead to a vicious cycle of isolation. Draining your energy and severing connections with those who want to stand by you.

Breaking this cycle requires bravery—acknowledging that we all need help sometimes.
Here are a few steps you can take:

• Reach Out.
  • Share your feelings with someone you trust. Whether it is a close friend, a family member, or a support line, talking about your struggles can ease the burden and remind you that you are not alone.
• Accept Help.
  • Suppose someone offers to help—whether by bringing you a meal, sitting with you for a chat, or simply checking in—say yes. Accepting kindness does not make you weak; it makes you human.
• Create Small Comforts.
  • In dark times, small rituals can bring solace. Make a habit of things that nourish you—a favourite book, a walk along the coastline, listening to your favourite song playlist, or simply enjoying a steaming cup of tea by the fire.
• Seek Professional Support.
  • If your struggles feel overwhelming, there is no shame in seeking professional help. Counsellors, therapists, and helplines exist to offer guidance and support, and reaching out to them is a sign of strength.

Let go of the idea that asking for help diminishes your independence. Instead, view it as an act of strength and trust, allowing others to share the load and walk alongside you.

You Are Not Alone
As we journey through the bleak midwinter, remember that you are loved, needed, and not alone. Even in the darkest moments, there are people who care about you—people who will listen, share your burdens, and remind you of your own resilience.

Let us all be there for each other, offering kindness, patience, and understanding. Together, we can find the light—even in the bleakest midwinter.

May this season be blessed and life-affirming for you and those you love.

厳しい冬の中で、光を見つける希望を探しましょう。
この1年は、深い悲しみや困難な選択、そして大きな喪失で満たされた「苦難の年」でした。しかし、その中にも感謝すべき成功や喜びの瞬間がありました。大切なのは、誰かに寄り添い、助けを求める勇気を持つことです。小さな心地よさやつながりを大切にし、希望を再び灯す季節にしましょう。あなたは一人ではありません。

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