Omoiyari and Doujou: The Essence of Budo from a Gaikokojin Perspective

As my time in Japan draws to a close, I have time to reflect and consider my 20+ years of training and how they were different or unique experiences to what I had experienced elsewhere. When I first returned to Canada after my first stay, I noticed that the notion of "empathy" or "compassion" was different within the Japanese dojo than it had been in Canada.
Two concepts, "思いやり" (omoiyari) and "同情" (doujou), unfurled with exquisite subtlety, each contributing its distinct essence to the social milieu. As a practitioner deeply immersed in the world of Budo, these notions transcend linguistic confines, imbuing our interactions with fellow martial artists with profound significance and depth.

Omoiyari, often elucidated as "consideration" or "empathy," embodies a profound sensitivity to the emotions and needs of others. Rooted in the Japanese ethos of harmonious coexistence, omoiyari necessitates a proactive engagement with the feelings and perspectives of those around us. Within both my Canadian and Irish context, where notions of politeness and courtesy are held in high regard, the integration of omoiyari into our interactions resonates seamlessly with the values of respect and consideration that form the bedrock of our societal fabric. 

Where it may become problematic is that when I train, I may train ferociously, and indeed, it may even come across as aggressive or bullying - but underneath is the genuine desire to push my partner to their stretching point and, in so doing, push myself to always remain in control. Understanding the nuances between pushing each other to a higher level only sometimes travels well outside of the cultural context of Japan Budo and has, from time to time, created animosity and misunderstanding with training partners. In my 30+ years in Budo, I only had one training partner with whom we reached this level of trust. To outsiders, it looked like we were fighting as we were and kicking each other with the apparent loss of control, but the reality was Jason was an excellent practitioner, level-headed and had incredible power. In all our years of training, only once did he land a kick square on the bridge of the nose, which indeed left a wee reminder for the rest of my life - but it had 100% been my fault as I zigged when I should have zagged - trying a new technique in the middle of a full-on training session was on me - not him. The laughter and blood flowed, but there was no animosity, only respect and gratitude - I learned a valuable lesson!!!

In Japan, it is an accepted norm to 'have a go' in training and afterwards be best mates. The only place I have seen similar camaraderie is on the rugby pitch. Going hard and playing within the rules differs from going hard and cheating with unacceptable or "illegal' techniques.

Conversely, doujou, typically translated as "sympathy," conveys a sense of shared emotions or feelings. It signifies an emotional resonance, acknowledging and understanding the joys and sorrows experienced by others. While doujou shares common ground with omoiyari, its emphasis lies more on forging an emotional connection rather than the proactive consideration inherent in omoiyari. In essence, this is built upon trust and camaraderie. That is why budo friendships can last a lifetime but also be so volatile. Such relationships can be on a knife edge and usually need constant adherence, for breaking trust is fatal and most likely irreparable. In my experience, 'forgiving and forgetting' does not travel well.

The interplay of these concepts weaves into the very fabric of Budo; they are markers of the more profound 'way' of martial arts. Engaging in this discipline demands physical skill, a profound understanding of one's training partners, and a commitment to mutual growth. In Budo, Omoiyari transcends mere technical proficiency; it involves anticipating the needs and limitations of fellow practitioners, fostering an environment conducive to collective flourishing.

Within the non-Japanese Budo community, the embodiment of omoiyari should manifest itself in the profound respect accorded to one another's journey and the recognition that each martial artist brings a unique perspective to the dojo. It entails cultivating a supportive atmosphere wherein individuals can learn and evolve at their own pace, cultivating a camaraderie that extends beyond the confines of the dojo.

Conversely, doujou in Budo entails acknowledging the shared odyssey of martial arts and understanding the trials and triumphs experienced by fellow practitioners. This shared emotional connection fosters a sense of unity, engendering bonds that transcend mere physical training.

In essence, the nuances between omoiyari and doujou enrich the tapestry of Japanese culture, offering a lens through which we can deepen our comprehension of human connections. As practitioners within Budo, integrating these concepts into our training enriches our martial prowess. It fortifies the bonds that bind us in this shared journey of self-discovery and growth. Through omoiyari and doujou, we discern the quintessence of Japanese culture and the universal threads that unite us as martial artists and individuals.

Shout out to my friend Mike C for inspiring the thoughts in this post.

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